This is the part you have been waiting for! What can I do to help?
As hard as it may be to “like” teenagers, be warm and affectionate. Praise them—find something good to say. They may not speak of this, but they will store this away and remember that your home is a secure place.
Be firm. This relates to consistency and the firmness on your child’s behavior. Be clear in your rules and expectations. Make sure they understand that there are consequences for broken rules (follow through). Children learn self-regulation by being regulated. They need to know their limits.
Keep in mind that your rules and expectations will change over time as your child gets older and their routines change. The challenge will be when you have children at different points in their life who require different rules and expectations.
More on self-regulation in the next installment.
Reference: Age of Opportunity, Dr. Laurence Steinberg